My Name is Tarzan Maroonga.

I am 97 years old and feel 297. Sometimes I even forget my age. Below is a picture of me in my younger days. Please be seated before viewing, it may be a little shocking.

 Some people make fun of me and say that I do not look like a Tarzan. But how can you look like a name anyway. They say I look more like the son of Tarzan’s daughter and an ape. Well, forget them.

PETS
Lets talk about animals for a minute. My favorite pets are snakes, below is a picture of my pet snake Earl.

Ok, that’s really a Viper. Earl is my pet Burmese Python. He is now 9’ long and growing. Maybe someday you will be lucky enough to see his pic in the space to the left.
AAAHHHH, whoa, how’d that picture get in here? This is my friend Smickberg, and those horns ARE real, but don’t worry the little man is not (he is made of clay).

Now, some fun for you freaks out there on lots of drugs. Right click on the picture below, then click on "Save picture as." Then next time you get really ripped, open it up and I am sure you’ll have fun.
 

Well, now wasn’t that fun.

Alright guys, our fun is almost done for today.
Lets have a couple pieces of Trivia First you must read this disclaimer: By reading this sentence you hereby agree to not use any of the following information for anything that could be portrayed as useful in any way, shape, or form.

A-1 Steak Sauce contains both orange peels and raisins.

"Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

A typical bed usually houses over 6 billion dust mites.

Mosquitoes are attracted to the color blue twice as much as to any other color.

The world is not round. It is an oblate spheroid, flattened at the poles and bulging at the equator.

Cleveland spelled backwards is "DNA level C".

Bamboo is not a tree. It is a wood grass.

In feudal Japan the Imperial Army has special soldiers whose only duty was to count the number of severed enemy heads after each battle.
Last but most certainly not least, did you know that according to Newton's Law of Motion, when a car going 60 miles per hour in one direction gets hit by a mosquito going one mile per hour in the opposite direction, the car will slow down one-millionth of a mile per hour.

Well, it has been fun entertaining all of you and I hope that by reading this page you have now grown to be a small percentage stupider.

Although any comments or complaints will be fully ignored to every extent possible, I urge you to:

Email me at:
[email protected]

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